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One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhereabove New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, MichaelJordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegaloxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and thepassenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened,and the pilot burst into the compartment."Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad newsis that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is thatthere are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, thepilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "Iam the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. Ithink the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" Withthese words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtledthrough the door and into the night.Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man.The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man shouldhave a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the DaliLama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life andhave known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life aheadof you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. Theworld's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."more pics like the one below at Just Sluts

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A young priest, who is still unsure of the penances to dole out during confession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker. "Oh," says the older priest, "give him a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents."